Back In Paris

So! Here I am, back in Paris and back to feeling like the little girl again. The little girl who grew up with -loses count- countless vampires. Nothing really ever changes in Paris. It, the place, remains the same as does my home(s) with several vampires here. Driscoll and I are staying with Papa Lestat right now but even when I visited with Armand, it was like going home. HOME! A word meaning: 1 a: one’s place of residence. Yeah that’s about right but wait, there’s more. 2 b: the social unit formed by a family living together. Yep, that about sums it up. Social unit! -laughs- We were nothing like a social unit of humans but social to each other none-the-less. To hear them tell it, I’m the savior of an entire vampire Coven but really what that means is, pain in the ass, brat and all around imp to all. 

They love me, unconditionally as I love them but for some reason I can not get past feeling like the little girl who gets under foot, is always in trouble or heaven forbid, hurts one of them. Which I’m pretty sure I did the other night. I know something I said hurt Armand’s feelings. I felt it straight to my soul. You see, I’ve had their blood. All of them. I know when things are not quite right and I know what I felt inside myself and what I saw in his eyes before he managed to jerk those walls back into place. I was excited over the cars he bought for me. Who wouldn’t be? 2 Bugatti’s and a Benz something or other. Not to mention the beautiful charm bracelet he placed around my wrist. Armand, -soft smile- always with the gifts. Believe me his estate is packed with just such things he’s bought for me over the years. If ever I am able to send them home to Night’s Island I’m afraid it might sink into the Ocean! But even with all the gifts, I love him like no other human daughter could love a human father. He is my Papa. As is Lestat and all the others. I owe my very life to them and would gladly give it up to save one or all. 

They each have had their special times with me over the years. Lestat, who taught me to be who I am and never compromise. Santiago, who taught me to have fun, -yes fun- and live my life as I wish while having fun doing it. Louis, who taught me the importance of books and eduction along with David. Merrique and Celeste who taught me to be a lady. -think I need to take those classes over again- And on down the list it goes. All of them, so very loved and so very much a part of who I am now. 

And then there was Daniel. -small pain in my heart- Daniel. Who taught me the true meaning of love. At first, the love of a parent to a child, though he often times was more like a brother to me. Letting me run wild, fielding the others away and often taking the blame for my impish pranks. Then came the day he left and I was devastated. He left to go to the Island that is now my home for good, Night’s Island. I was older then and the love I had for him, brother to sister, had turned to something more. I refused to speak to anyone, refused to eat thought they threatened me daily if I didn’t. I couldn’t. I missed him so much.  I didn’t understand the reason why he left, though he did try to console me before he did.

He told me that him leaving was because it was time and that being around Armand one more night would cause him to go insane. I could sympathize only so much, never understanding his relationship with Armand in the first place. It spanned back years to me coming to them and was something no one spoke of around me. Still, his gentle words and kind eyes while doing so did nothing to ease my pain. After days of being miserable and dealing with angry ‘parent vampires’ I did the only thing a girl could do. I ran away.

Right into Daniel’s arms on the Island. OK, that part wasn’t so easy but getting free of the others was though I don’t think they ever thought there needed to be a reason to keep me locked away. They slept during the day and for me it was as simple as leaving a note, boarding a plane and landing on the Island. Getting myself into Daniel’s arms wasn’t so easy but eventually I managed to convince him of my feelings and remember clearly the night he confessed that his leaving was more because of his feelings for me than anything to do with Armand. 

On that Island that Daniel loved so much, the very same one I love today, he taught me the love of a man for a woman. In the beginning we fought against the others to be left alone. They all came in force to try and separate us. The arguments went on for days, the threats came and went until finally Daniel threatened them himself. He told them if they didn’t leave us alone that he would take me away and not tell them to where. I stood behind him thinking I would see him turned to cinder, especially by Lestat and Armand but something must have gotten through to them because that night, every single one of them left. Except for Celeste. It was Celeste who pulled me aside and told me she knew exactly how I felt and Daniel too. That all she wanted was for me to be happy and if being with Daniel did that then she had to trust us. I’m not sure what she said to him because their conversation was private but she left the next night and for 3 years Daniel and I were happy, together on the Island.

Our happiness ended because of my stubbornness and insistence that he turn me. Make me one of them. You see, love does that too you when you’re mixed up with a vampire. You can see yourself getting old and eventually dying, leaving them behind and yourself never knowing how they truly feel about immortality and the lack of being able to connect on the same level. Our time together was wonderful, magical and more than I ever dreamed love could be until I wanted more. Daniel refused. 

We didn’t part angry or enemies but saddened by the differences that kept us apart. The ones that would always keep us apart. It was then that I went to live with Celeste in Shreveport. It was there that she held me while I cried for hours on end until my heart felt like it would burst from my chest. And it was there that I realized Daniel had made the ultimate sacrifice for me. He let me go before we destroyed each other and any love we had shared. He simply loved me that much.

I stayed with Celeste until she finally thought it best I go to NOLA to spend some time at the Plantation House. I wasn’t exactly fitting in with her life in Shreveport after being on an Island, secluded for so long. Celeste had adopted an Estate full of Fae and had fallen for Bastiaan Castello by then. It wasn’t that she wanted me gone she simply wanted me to feel comfortable in my own skin again. The noise and chaos of her home, family though to her and now me was more than I could take in those first few weeks so I accepted and left for NOLA. 

It was there, in her beautiful Old World Plantation house and among her prize winning rose garden that I first laid eyes on Driscoll Aberdeen. 

       ...But that story I think I will save for another time. 

 

 

I had managed to stay under the radar for 2 days. No one seemed to realize I wasn’t with the others, here or there. While @Driscoll_A was away it was easy and @Daniel_Molloy_ was forced to sleep before the sun rose. An Estate full of vampires was just not in my plans for peace & quiet. @Lady_Celeste1 had managed, w/the help of bonded blood, to stay up during the day. @Bastiaan_C could as well but had been gone so much with work related emergencies that he was rarely there. The Immortals, @FeleciaImmortal and @LanceImmortal, were a constant presence in my physique since they were always lurking somewhere in the night hours. I didn’t have to have had their blood to know they were around. Something in me was changing. I had felt it slowly start developing right after I had taken Driscoll’s blood for the first time.

I had no idea what I was becoming, needed time to myself to think through the past 7 months. Where I had been, where I was now and the future that seemed to be clouded in confusion. I needed time. The Fae of the Estate, @FaerieKalen, @Fairy_Laurana and ever @teacup_Rose, were a worry to me since I knew they could “poof” from place to place. I loved them dearly but needed time to myself without worrying who was reading whose mind. So, I had boarded a Sea Plane bound for the one place I knew better than any, with the exception of the Coven’s Palatial Estate in Paris. I was going home to Night’s Island. I knew every square inch of that Island, including the wildest parts away from the Business & Tourist Section. If I could just spend some time there I was sure I’d find the answers I needed to return to my life. The life I had decided on when I realized that Daniel would never leave the safety of “his” hiding place away from the others. Always at odds with their decisions or more like they kept him out of the loop of their decisions, he had more or less taken over Armand’s Island home and made it his Sanctuary.

I never blamed him, more so I wanted more than an Island to call a life and decided to force his hand. That had turned out badly, considering he hadn’t budged, letting me go to create a life for myself with Celeste. Note to self, Satin: Never gamble with a vampire. You’ll lose every time. Or had I? Enter Driscoll Aberdeen. A whole new breed apart from what I was use to. Falling in love wasn’t the hard part. Picturing a life w/him was easy. It was seeing them, Daniel and Driscoll in the same place that had caused my equilibrium to shatter. Well, nothing I could do about that now. I was headed home. Home was where I would sift through the fog of confusing emotions, determined to find the answers to the doubts, I just needed time & peace. I wasn’t going back til I found a solution, and quickly. With @Aosoth gone to only she knew where and @Lestat_L getting more and more enraged as time passed, all I needed was to rock the boat with him and all the hiding in the world wouldn’t save me. He loved me dearly, but even I could stretch his love only so far, he did have his limits. I very well might be cashing in on the last drop of it with this stunt.

I just needed space and peace because I knew once they realized I was gone … It wouldn’t take them long to find me.